My essence

As I sit in my room with the lights off I feel nothing. Just the bed underneath me and the darkness in front of me. I could be a human, I could be an apparition, I could be nothing. I could be anywhere in the world. It’s just me and myself. That’s how people live their lives. Totally infatuated and entrenched in themselves, with no means to do anything with realizing their impact on reality. We all live in our own little worlds, yet we don’t just affect our own world. As a collective human society, we need to start taking accountability for what we have, not only individually, yet collectively. That is what I’ve learned in this program and this class. We might live individual lives but we share a connected sphere of influence.

What can I do? Realize my place in this world, and realize that I can very much be an asset to society, rather than a disruptive force. Find my niche and where my skills fit most perfectly. As I go through my life I am always asking, what more I could be doing to shed a positive light on my community. I feel like my capabilities have not been reached as of yet, and that’s O.K. This class has made me realize that the process is more important than anything. The end result is only the destination, but the journey is where you learn and become yourself.

These last four months have been an unforgettable journey for me to ultimately thrust me closer to my realization process. To be honest, I have more questions than answers, because this class has ingrained values and thoughts that have brought my brain into a world wind of different emotions. Concepts and terms that have amazed me such as theory U, that has instilled a literal process of processing in which I never realized before.

So, As I sit in my room and stare into oblivion, I think about my life. How it has changed throughout the course of my twenty-two years, the people who have come and gone and the new people that will eventually come in. The things that I could be doing, the things that I have done. My self-worth vs. the very meaning of life itself. I don’t know the answers too much, and I don’t think I ever will. I know this manifesto was supposed to be about things I could be doing in my future to better myself and humanity but in reality, I still don’t know. I’m quite satisfied with that realization actually because this class has made it all right to be unsure of yourself and the future. I guess the only thing I could really do is live in the moment and see what happens.