As a young adult in his mid-20s, frequenting the bustling New York nightlife is one of my friends and I’s favorite pastimes. The energy that the city emits is purely unmatched by many places… among the dancing and flowing of alcoholic beverages, cultivates the perfect atmosphere to mingle with desperate singles looking for a good time… With mingling, comes the immense emotions that come when approaching strangers that you don’t particularly know… Yeah, Liquid courage does help, but we all get a little nervous when we begin to approach that one person in which we insist that “came from the heavens”… Nervousness and apprehension is an intrinsic and vital trait in humans. Without it, we might come across as callous and arrogant.
In more prehistoric times, lacking such characteristics may have even cost us our lives. In the case of being in the bar, your life may not be on the line. However, it sure does feel like it at times. That situation when you’re walking up to that one person, and the feeling that if it all goes wrong your life will surely crumble… I can recall one time I was out in the bar, soaking up the nightlife with a couple of friends, and my best friend turned to me and exclaimed “wow that girl is super cute” to which I replied, “you should go talk to her” My friend, as if he automatically knew everything about this girl quickly uttered, “she’s out of my league”… The night of course went on, and we all had fun, however, one question still kept lingering for me about the particular phrase that my friend used… “League” It baffled my mind to think that my friend’s sole reason for not approaching this girl was the fact that he thinks that she’s out of his league.
To be honest, I think the adaptation of leagues in most people’s minds are cultivated out of nervousness and fear. Without admitting that you’re fearful of approaching someone, you tend to unconsciously mask it with “Phoney” preconceptions and pretenses. This is understandable as I stated at the beginning, it’s natural to be nervous to approach people that we don’t know, and especially people who we deem to have a type of halo effect on us. Are there leagues that divide us? Are there a set number of people who just are intrinsically better looking? That other “less attractive” looking people simply can’t date? First, let’s delve into the science of aesthetic attraction.
Some studies have shown that individuals with facial symmetry are deemed to be more attractive. However, with that being said, facial symmetry makes up a very small portion of what defines attraction as a whole.… In actuality, attraction is a multi-faceted concept, with many different factors coming to play… aesthetics, personality, status, scent, values, style, culture, etc. Not to mention the fact that everyone has a different hierarchy in which they place importance on each attribute. For example, from my own personal life, A girl that I used to date expressed to me the fact that she contemplated dating me, due to the seemingly Minot fact that I had an outdated computer. This is a level of attraction in which I cannot comprehend nor have experiences prior… In essence, everyone has their specific type.
How can I prove this you ask? Ask your friend his or her celebrity crush, most likely it will be a different person than your own. Assuming the fact that your celebrity crush is the pinochle of beauty in both you and your friend’s eyes. Next, ask them what they admire about that particular individual; their answers may surprise you. Some will say “well what if both celebrity crushes are deemed to be in the same league? Well, my response to that question will be, how would you identify that? Both individuals are completely different. You may not even find your friend’s celebrity crush attractive at all… Leagues are a very linear view of a concept that is very abstract. Attraction can’t possibly be quantified. Attraction is a relative concept not universal. As you look at people who are perpetuating in the dating world, you will see that there are a large range and variety of couples. On a surface level, you see them for who they are, or at least your interpretation of how they are. You might even ponder “why is she with him? Or what does she have going for her? This is the ultimate example of the irrefutable fact that there is no such thing as “leagues’ ‘. Attraction is unexplained and indescribable. So, next time you see that potential special someone in the bar or nightclub, shoot your shot, you never know what is going to matriculate.
Discussion for social betterment 